There’s an interesting study out of England — and by “interesting” I mean “loaded, probably biased, and generally worthless” — that claims vegetarians are smarter than their meat-eating brethren. Here’s vegtaste.com with the story:

Intelligent Kids More Likely To Switch Over To Vegetarianism Later In Life

An interesting British study on the eating habits of the kids reveals that intelligent children are more likely to adopt vegetarianism later in life.

Those who were vegetarians by 30 were five IQ points more on average at the age of 10, according to the study published in British Medical Journal.

The researchers at Southampton University found it isn’t clear why vegetarians are more intelligent as compared to their non-vegetarians counterparts - but admit the fruit and veggie-rich vegetarian diet could somehow boost brain power.

First of all, let me rephrase the article’s title to something that the author wishes they could have used: “Vegetarians are Smarter; Now We Have Proof.”

Man, I wish I could have been included in that study, because I would have thrown it way off. Here’s why:

Number one, I love meat — and poultry, and other animal-produced products, like eggs, cheese, etc. I eat about 6 meals a day, and just about every meal has some sort of animal product — something called “protein” — in it. I like steak, a lot. I like it rare, so when I cut it the blood spills out all over my plate. Mmmmmmm.

Number two, I’m a member of Mensa — a high IQ society — and while I won’t list my IQ, let’s just say that it doesn’t agree with the results of the study. I’m sorry if that sounds egocentric or rude, but it is what it is.

Besides the purported “correlation” with increased IQ, I think there’s another common factor vegetarians share: bitterness; because every vegetarian I know seems to be bitter about something. (Usually the fact that most restaurants don’t offer a multitude of vegetarian options, because it wouldn’t be economically smart to do so. But vegetarians don’t get that. Oh, I was a waiter for a while, too, so I had to deal with these people all the time.)